


Only for now

by strikedawn



Category: Free!
Genre: M/M, goodbyes like these are so bittersweet i love them
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-20
Updated: 2018-07-20
Packaged: 2019-06-13 16:13:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,362
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15368349
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/strikedawn/pseuds/strikedawn
Summary: Third year of high school is the year of goodbyes.Nao just hadn’t expected it tobeginwith one.





	Only for now

**Author's Note:**

> Hello guys! I've been in the Free! fandom for a very long time, but I never really dared to write for it until now! I'm really excited to share this natsunao piece with you guys, hopefully it won't be the last one!
> 
> Happy reading!
> 
> Ps: I know Hiyori and Ikuya probably didn't know each other yet in canon but.... I really wanted to write him...

Third year of high school is the year of goodbyes. Goodbye to your classmates, goodbye to the path to school you’ve been taking every day for the last three years. It’s the year of saying goodbye to routine, and change it for the excitement that brings university, or work, or anything you plan to do next. The end of the year is the end of an era, an era that falls apart with every cherry blossom petal that finds its way back to the earth.

Third year of high school is the year of goodbyes.

Nao just hadn’t expected it to _begin_ with one.

“Come on,” Natsuya laughs, holding his baby brother closer. Ikuya’s not a baby anymore, granted, but the way he clings to Natsuya is the most tender thing Nao has seen in a while. Stoic, serious Ikuya, hiding his face in his brother’s hoodie while pretending he isn’t doing exactly that. It’s the first time Natsuya is leaving without him, after all. “I’ll be back next year!”

“Or earlier, if they kick you out,” Hiyori jokes, all in good faith. His eyes are mirthful behind his glasses, but he has already hugged Natsuya goodbye. He can afford it.

Natsuya sends him a glare that speaks of kicks to the shin, if only Hiyori was standing closer. “Watch it, Tono. If you start slacking on your times, I’ll kick your ass.”

“Yes, sir!” Hiyori exclaims, salute and everything.

That’s the moment Ikuya decides enough is enough, so he steps away from his brother, hands finding their way back to the pockets of his jacket. Shionezaki’s.

Natsuya’s so proud he seems about to burst.

“Same goes for you,” Natsuya says, looking at Ikuya, and the slight redness on the rims of his brother’s eyes makes his voice come out softer, sweeter. “But also, don’t push yourself too hard, alright?”

“…Those are two different things, aniki _,_ ” Ikuya replies, letting his hair fall over his eyes. Nao smiles, despite himself, watching the familiar scene unfold before his eyes. “I can’t do both, you know.”

Natsuya’s eyebrow twitches. “You smartass—“

Ikuya is already protesting before Natsuya’s hands even reach his hair, messing it until the long locks ressemble a bird’s nest. Ikuya groans, pouting softly —it’s hard to remember, in moments like this, that Ikuya _is_ a high-school boy now —, and kicks the bag that rests next to his brother’s feet. “Stop that, aniki! Don’t you have a flight to catch?”

Natsuya hums, smile crumbling just the tiniest bit. He blinks, once, and then his eyes snap up to meet Nao’s, there where he waits with the group. They haven’t had their goodbye yet.

Ikuya moves back, speaking softly with Hiyori, out of earshot. Nao is only barely aware of this; most of his being in centered on Natsuya. Natsuya, and his fiery eyes, his squared shoulders, his sharp jaw… And the way he seems to be able to make the rest of the airport disappear as he moves closer to Nao, never once looking away from him.

“Hey,” Natsuya says softly, once he’s standing so close in front of Nao that the tips of their shoes touch. There is the beginnings of a smile at the corner of his mouth, stretching languidly, like the arch of a cat’s back.

Nao can’t help but smile back. “Hey, yourself.”

Natsuya is fully smiling now. He seems about to speak, but his eyes catch something over Nao’s shoulder, and a cloud of worry passes fast through the red of his eyes, changing his expression completely. “…Will you keep an eye on them?” Natsuya says, low enough for no one else to hear. Nao doesn’t have to look behind himself to know he’s speaking of Ikuya and Hiyori.

“If they let me,” Nao nods his head, already looking at Natsuya when Natsuya’s eyes, irremediably, go back to Nao’s. “Ikuya can be a bit stubborn. I wonder where he gets that from.”

“Look who’s talking!” Natsuya immediately fires back, pushing his hands into the pockets of his jacket. The fleece pressed against his neck is a warm color, a nice contrast with the blue of the jacket. Nao picked it well. It was his going away present for Natsuya. “You’re no better, you know.”

“True… I wonder where _I_ get it from—“

“Agh, stop it—!”

Nao can’t help it; he turns his head and laughs, feeling something in his chest get a bit looser for the first time that day, and Natsuya joins him a second later, angling his head so they’re laughing together, close, the way they’ve done a million times. When they finally look at each other again, their gazes are soft and tender, misplaced in their type of relationship, but no less real.

Nao’s heart skips a beat. That, too, he can’t help.

“Do come back soon to visit,” it slips past Nao’s lips, unbidden, and he regrets it not a moment later. He’s supposed to be the supporting friend, after all.

But by the way Natsuya smiles, maybe it wasn’t such a bad thing to say. “Of course! You—you won’t even have time to miss me, Nao. You know it, this isn’t the first time I’ve left!”

It really isn’t. But Nao remembers; remembers the moment when letters, and the first few tentative texts on their new phones started to feel like they weren’t enough, and he doesn’t want to go through that again. He’d rather Natsuya come visit.

He _will_ go through it all again, though, if it’s for the sake of Natsuya’s dream.

“You’re right,” Nao nods again, smiling with Natsuya. “I guess all that’s left is goodbye, then.”

“For now!”

“…Yeah. For now.”

Almost at the same time, they both lift their arms, fists coming between them. It’s an act purely for Natsuya, but Nao would be lying if he said he didn’t like the slight bump of their knuckles too. And it fits what comes next very well, anyway.

Nao inhales through his nose. “Take the world by storm—“ he starts, tongue rolling the familiar words out.

“—But don’t bring anyone’s ship down with it!” Natsuya finishes for him with a laugh, eyes creasing at the corners. “I know, I know! I’ll behave.

Nao doesn’t believe him for a second, and he makes sure it shows in his smile. “Sure.”

“…Hey, Nao,” Natsuya starts suddenly, expression getting serious. In a face so used to laughing and smiling like Natsuya’s, the change is so noticeable that Nao’s eyebrows jump up in surprise. “Listen…”

“What is it?”

In front of him, Natsuya swallows. There’s a quick movement, and suddenly Natsuya makes his fingers reach forward and wrap themselves around Nao’s still curled ones, working through the spaces between each finger until they’re entwined, and their palms are flush together. Nao almost wants to look down, see the way Natsuya’s darker skin looks like against his own paler hand, but—But there _is_ a storm in Natsuya’s eyes, and Nao can’t for the life of him look away from it.

“Natsu—“

“I’ll call you everyday,” Natsuya says quickly, almost harshly, squeezing Nao’s hand. “If… that’s okay with you,” he adds, almost like an afterthought. As if he didn’t care if it was okay with Nao or not, because he would do it anyway.

The thought makes Nao smile. “Of course—“

“And I’ll text you,” Natsuya keeps going on. There is a blush, coming from under the fleece at his neck and rising up, to his cheeks, to the tips of his ears. “I’ll send you pictures too. Maybe even write a couple of letters…”

“With your calligraphy?” Natsuya seems so agitated that Nao can’t help it; he falls back to their easy banter, trying to pull Natsuya from whatever unsettling thoughts he’s having. Maybe Nao is wrong, but he could almost swear he can feel Natsuya’s heart hammering fast against his palm. “I won’t be able to read a single—“

“Naoooo,” Natsuya bemoans, head falling forward. They’re so close, Natsuya’s forehead ends up resting against Nao’s shoulder. Their hands are still holding each other. “I’m _trying,_ you know?”

“Trying to what?”

Natsuya’s reply is another groan. He stays there on Nao’s shoulder for a moment longer and then moves up, so close and so slow that Nao can feel the drag of the tip of Natsuya’s nose against his cheek. It makes his lungs freeze, mid-inhale.

Natsuya’s eyes are red like a sunrise, shining through that storm that makes Nao shiver from his very core.

“…Trying to say something important,” Natsuya says, low. His breath brushes against Nao’s skin. “I…” Natsuya starts again, but he seems a bit distracted, suddenly. Nao is about to ask what is wrong when Natsuya finally moves. It’s a small movement of his free hand, but it still makes Nao’s heart stop in his chest; with his thumb, Natsuya pushes Nao’s glasses up the bridge of his nose, letting the side of his pad brush against his skin. “…I’ll be waiting for you. Let’s swim together again, Nao.”

Nao hears him through the thunderous beating of his heart, and swallows. They’ve talked about this before. They’ve _fought_ about this before, when Nao’s own pain over not being able to swim gets the best of him, and he can’t help but let it out. Because, beyond Natsuya, Nao _loves_ swimming. And it hurts not being able to do it.

But now— he knows where Natsuya is coming from. He knows, because he knows Natsuya well, too well. And while the realization makes his skin warm and his insides flutter… He also wishes it hadn’t come minutes before Natsuya had to hop on a plane.

Natsuya would be back, though. There was no need to rush it.

“…Alright,” Nao says, soft smile becoming sweeter over his eyes, and Natsuya’s eyes shine like a true sun. “Let’s—“

“ _Ladies and gentlemen,”_ a voice speaks from above, and Nao looks up as if expecting to see someone hovering over him, jumping slightly at the sudden loud voice. _“United flight 1012 to New York is closing doors in 10 minutes. Passengers that have not yet boarded should—“_

Nao frowns at the announcement; he was never too good with english, but that bit was just too confusing. He tilts his chin down once the voice dies down, still frowning, to look at Natsuya once more. “Hey, was that your— _!_ ”

Natsuya kisses him suddenly, like he does most things, with a dash of impetuous energy and a lot of heart. The kiss steals the rest of Nao’s question from his mouth, from his tongue— but Natsuya moves back before Nao can even close his eyes, running away with a luminous smile; like a thief, taking with himself the air in Nao’s lungs.

“Oi, aniki!” Ikuya shouts from behind, watching his brother run away suddenly and without another word. Natsuya turns for half a second to throw a peace sign at them and a “See you guys soon!” before he’s gone in a sea of travelers.

Nao still isn’t breathing when the blue of his jacket disappears completely.

“I swear, he loves to do that! He’s such a— Nao-senpai?” Ikuya’s voice brings Nao from whatever cloud his head had flown up to. He blinks quickly, trying to come back to the present, and turns to find both Ikuya and Hiyori looking at him with slightly worried expressions.

“Ah, yes?” Nao replies, wondering if the smile on his face looks as weird as it feels. It’s hard to smile through the pleasant tingle of his lips.

“You look pale…” Ikuya steps closer, but doesn’t reach out to touch Nao. Still, his worry is heartwarming, and Nao feels bad for making him put on such an expression a second after his brother has left for another _continent._

“I’m fine, Ikuya. Sorry,” Nao looks around, at the people that crowd the airport even at such an early hour. “I think I just need some fresh air—“

By chance, Nao’s eyes meet Hiyori’s over Ikuya’s shoulder. And it’s probably Nao’s overloaded mind, or the fast beating of his heart that seems to almost choke him. But, suddenly, Nao thinks he sees an _understanding_ look on Hiyori’s soft eyes, as if he knows exactly what Nao is hiding and why. It’s not a look you find in a first year, in someone so young.

But it’s gone before Nao can chase after it, replaced by another of Hiyori’s sweet smiles. “Why don’t we go get breakfast? Maybe you just need something sweet in you, Nao-san.”

Nao smiles at the offer, even if he can still smell Natsuya from the slight second they were pressed against each other. “I would like that. Thank you, Hiyori, Ikuya.”

Ikuya leads the way, still muttering about his brother’s antics, with Hiyori a step behind laughing at his words. Nao follows absent-mindedly, for the first time in his life unaware of the glances the two boys in front of him send at him from time to time. Later, he will berate himself for that, for not paying attention.

But for now— For now, his mind replays that last second with Natsuya, the pressure of his lips and the warmth of his mouth. He feels, deep down, a sluggish feeling of pride at having read Natsuya correctly, and then a heat under his skin at being caught unaware like that. Natsuya’s hot-headed heart has won over Nao’s cooler temper once again.

If only Natsuya had waited for a _second_ , Nao would have kissed him back.

“Nao-san, hurry up!” Hiyori exclaims from up ahead, waving there where he and Ikuya are waiting for him. “The bus is almost here!”

Nao smiles at them, and waits until they’re both turned away to shake his head. Natsuya’s gone now, onwards to his next big adventure. And Nao has his own adventure here, with a side-dish of a promise: he has two people to keep an eye on.

He will talk to Natsuya later, when his plane touches land again. For now, Nao will simply treasure the feeling of that kiss, until next time.

His third year of high school starts with a goodbye.

But it’s only a goodbye for now.

**Author's Note:**

> if you want to cry about natsunao with me please come to find me @strikemika on twitter!


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